A MUM-OF-TWO has just done something that will make some parents gasp — she let her 16-year-old daughter get a tattoo while they were in Thailand.
In Thailand, 16 is the legal age with parental consent, and Clare Macnaughton’s view is: my daughter’s body is hers, not mine.
Clare Macnaughton has told why she let her daughter Macc, 16, get a tattoo in Thailand[/caption]
Clare’s daughter Macc had been talking about tattoos for months and she knew knew if she flat-out refused, she’d likely find a way to get inked behind her back, with more risk and without her support.
According to the 53-year-old, who is from Wiltshire, it wasn’t about being a “cool mum” but was instead about teaching agency, responsibility, and respect for her own body.
Plus, she’d rather her daughter made that first big decision with her by her side than sneaking off to a backstreet parlour at 18. Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, she says:
WHEN my 16-year-old daughter, Macc, told me she wanted a tattoo, my first instinct was to say no. Not because I’m prudish, but because tattoos simply aren’t for me.
I’ve never had one and never wanted one. I wasn’t allowed to pierce my ears or wear make-up until I was 16, and to this day the only jewellery I wear is a Tiffany heart necklace. I don’t do big beauty rituals, I rarely wear make-up, and I only put on a watch if I’m tracking my steps.
So when my daughter started talking about tattoos, it felt like a foreign language.
To complicate things further, my late husband, who served in the RAF, absolutely loathed tattoos. He thought they were unprofessional and regrettable — something you did when you were young and spent the rest of your life hiding. He would never have approved.
Which makes it darkly funny that my new partner, Pete, is covered in tattoos — and, to put it delicately, has a Prince Albert.
The night everything changed
When Pete stayed over for the first time — a sanctioned sleepover after my late husband’s death — I was dreading it. I expected slammed doors, sulking, perhaps even a tearful “you’re replacing Dad!”
Instead, I walked upstairs to find Macc perched next to Pete, utterly fascinated by the artwork across his body, tracing the ink on his arms and declaring her favourites.
There was no tantrum, no rejection — just connection.
That’s when I realised tattoos weren’t rebellion for her; they were expression, maybe even fascination. She wasn’t rebelling against authority — she was studying identity.
Thailand, 2024
Months later, when we were in Thailand, she brought it up again. Sixteen is the legal age there to get a tattoo with parental consent.
I could have said no — but I knew that would only delay the inevitable. Instead, I decided to trust Pete.
He’s covered in tattoos, understands the process, and knows how to spot a reputable studio from a dodgy one. He sat beside her through the whole thing, ensuring it was clean, sterile, and done properly. I, on the other hand, had absolutely no idea what I was looking at — I
was mainly trying not to faint at the sound of the needle.
Macc’s design was a hammerhead shark and a small, personal, motif. It was something she’d thought about for months. She handled the process calmly, maturely, and without drama.
Tattoos are not for me personally. But I do like seeing my daughter take responsibility for her own choices.
In Thailand, 16 is the legal age to get a tattoo with parental consent[/caption]
The small motif tattoo Macc got on her arm[/caption]
Macc’s design was a hammerhead shark and a small, personal, motif[/caption]
Clare’s partner Pete is covered in tattoos. Pictured, with Macc[/caption]
Clare says she could’ve said no but knew that she’d only delay the inevitable[/caption]
Trust vs control
Parenting teenagers is one long balancing act between wanting to protect them and needing to let them grow. I am worried that later in life she will regret her tattoos and blame me for not stopping her — but I respect her right to decide what she does with her own body. My job is to guide, not dictate.
I could have said no — but I knew that would only delay the inevitable
Clare Macnaughton
She’s now 17 and, on a family trip to Majorca, she got two more. They’re larger, and more meaningful. She’s also added to her piercing collection — nose, lip, eyebrows, and multiple earrings.
It’s not what I’d choose. But she’s not me.
I’ve learned that disapproval and respect can coexist. I can dislike something and still support her autonomy. That’s what agency looks like — for her and for me.
What my late husband would have thought
He would have hated it. He believed in discipline, uniformity, and control. But the world has changed, and so has parenting. My role now isn’t to protect Macc from every decision she might regret. It’s to help her make those decisions safely, mindfully, and with love.
When you’ve been through grief — when your children have lost a parent — you learn to choose your battles carefully. Tattoos are permanent, yes, but so is trauma. And I’ll take her inked skin over emotional withdrawal any day.
The truth is, I’m just glad she still talks to me. That we have a relationship based on trust, not secrecy. My late husband and I parented in an era where children were expected to comply. I’m parenting now in one where the goal is connection. I can’t shield Macc from every decision she might regret, but I can help her make those decisions safely, mindfully, and with love.
Watching her get tattooed — knowing Pete was there to make sure everything was safe —felt oddly like progress. It wasn’t rebellion; it was responsibility.
Clare has since gone on to get a couple more bigger tattoos[/caption]
Clare says the new tattoos are larger and more meaningful[/caption]
Clare likes seeing her daughter take responsibility for her own choices[/caption]
Clare’s concern is that her daughter Macc will regret her tattoos[/caption]
Modern motherhood
We were raised to obey rules. Our daughters are being raised to question them. We were told to hide emotion; they’re encouraged to express it — even on their skin. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s real.
What the experts say
It turns out psychology now supports what instinct told me. Yale psychiatrist Dr Andrés Martin, who literally wrote the book On Teenagers and Tattoos, calls the urge to be inked a normal part of identity development. “In an era of instability,” he writes, “the bodily arts are bold ways of saying, ‘This is who I am.’”
Advice from a Celebrity Tattoo Artist
CELEBRITY Tattoo Artist Matt Roe has revealed his top tips on getting inked to Fabulous…
WHAT TATTOOS LOOK BEST?
Matt says: “Tattoos are a highly personal choice, and my preference leans towards black and grey over colour. This is a style I’ve specialised in for over decade of my career, after exploring a variety of styles during my initial six years in tattooing.
“This choice evolved from a deep appreciation for the timeless aesthetic that black and grey tattoos offer. Beyond colour preferences, it can be rewarding to choose a design that holds personal significance or matches your aesthetic tastes, although it isn’t strictly necessary.
“From an artistic standpoint, well-balanced designs that harmonise with the body’s natural contours and enhance your features will invariably stand the test of time.
“I often draw inspiration from classic pieces of art or nature for my designs, as these themes are more enduring and less influenced by trends. Whether opting for a bold statement piece or a delicate fine line design, the right tattoo should always feel like it’s meant to be a part of you.”
WHICH STYLE IS RIGHT FOR ME?
Matt shares: “Identifying the right style for your tattoo starts with some initial research. It’s worth dedicating time to explore different tattoo styles – traditional, realism, and geometric are just a few examples.
“Pay attention to what visually appeals to you the most. Reflect on the types of art that resonate with you in other areas of your life and consider how these preferences might translate onto your skin.
“Before choosing a tattoo artist, have a clear idea of your preferred style, as most artists have their specialisations. Requesting a style outside their expertise is like asking an oil painter to create a pencil drawing—they might manage it and could do well, but it won’t showcase their tried-and-tested skills to the best of their ability.
“Once you’ve narrowed down your preferences, a skilled tattoo artist should be able to suggest designs that complement your skin tone, body type, and the intended scale of your tattoo.
“The key is to blend your personal taste with professional guidance to find a style that truly suits you.”
TATTOOS TO AVOID?
Matt recommends: “It’s wise to steer clear of designs that are overly trendy, or based on jokes and fads, as these can quickly become outdated.
“Some might recommend opting for heavy bold tattoos as they have been known to age better, but from my experience, a well-tattooed fine line piece can outlast a poorly tattooed bold-lined tattoo this isn’t to say one is better than the other but my advice would be to choose someone experienced and skilled in the type of tattoo you are looking for.
“Also, consider the long-term implications of getting tattoos with names of partners or overtly aggressive motifs, as these might limit your personal and professional opportunities in the future.
“Additionally, think carefully about the placement of your tattoo, especially if it may need to be covered for professional reasons. These might not be concerns you need to consider, given your lifestyle, but having them in mind before proceeding with a tattoo is advisable.
“Ultimately, a tattoo should be something that you are confident and comfortable with for a lifetime, reflecting your true self without reservation.
“When looking for an artist, it’s best to find ones with good reviews and healed photos of their work. Try to find someone with whom you feel comfortable and who will listen to any concerns you may have about design and placement. You don’t want to feel rushed into a decision that will be with you forever.”
In other words, teenagers don’t necessarily get tattoos to rebel — they get them to belong.
Closer to home, Professor Viren Swami, Britain’s top tattoo researcher at Anglia Ruskin University, found that tattoos can actually boost self-esteem and body appreciation, particularly for women reclaiming a sense of ownership over their bodies.
“In societies that clearly define what you can and can’t do with your body,” he says, “tattooing can be a way of reclaiming agency.”
That’s exactly what I see in Macc: a young woman learning that her body — and her choices — are hers.
Parenting experts echo the same message. Clinical psychologist Dr Barbara Greenberg urges parents to preserve the relationship above all: “It is your daughter’s body and she will have to live with its permanency.” Psychiatrist Dr Adeola Adelayo adds: “Instead of rejecting the idea, connect to understand what’s driving it.”
And UK parenting coach Sue Atkins, reminds us that while tattoos are illegal under 18 here, “talking and teaching must come before forbidding.” She’s right. No law, no rulebook, can replace an honest conversation.
I am worried that later in life she will regret her tattoos and blame me for not stopping her — but I respect her right to decide what she does with her own body
Clare Macnaughton
The data even calms the fear. A 2015 Tulane University study found a 35 per cent regret rate for tattoos done before 18, dropping to just 11 per cent for over-21s. In other words, three-
quarters of teens who get inked don’t regret it — especially when they’ve thought about it and chosen a professional artist.
Generations of difference
Growing up as a child in the 80s my perception of tattoos is that they were for sailors and bikers. As we grew older, they still whispered rebellion. For Macc and the rest of Gen Z they’re mainstream.
Psychologist Natasha Sharma said Gen Z tattoos are “a powerful statement of identity” and a “real experience” in an overly digital world. Maybe that’s why, in a culture of disappearing
Snapchat messages, they crave something permanent.
I may never fully understand it, but I can appreciate it.
Parenting after loss
Raising teenagers after bereavement changes everything. You learn that control is an illusion. That saying no for the sake of no wastes precious time. Grief sharpens your priorities: health, safety, honesty. I’ve stopped caring about appearances and started caring
about conversations.
My concern is that she will regret her tattoos. They’re not something I want for myself. But I believe her body is hers, not mine. And I’d rather she make those choices with support and safety than secrecy and regret.
Parenting today isn’t about control. It’s about connection. And that means standing beside her — even when I’m quietly horrified by the needle.
I do approve of her courage, her creativity, her ability to turn pain into purpose.
If I can keep my daughter safe, confident and connected — even when she’s making choices that make me wince — then I’m doing my job. And if one day she decides to laser them off, well, that’s her journey too.
Macc was fascinated with Pete’s artwork when they first met[/caption]
Pete sat beside Macc through the whole thing, ensuring it was clean, sterile, and done properly[/caption]
