Katlego Sekhu
A teacher has found himself in a really uncomfortable position. He’s dating a woman he cares about, but he also teaches her son at school. And lately, those two worlds are starting to clash.
What he first brushed off as normal classroom misbehaviour has turned into open defiance. The learner is pushing boundaries, arguing back and refusing to follow instructions, and it’s beginning to affect his authority in front of the class.
He hasn’t said anything to his girlfriend yet. Partly because he doesn’t want to make her feel judged as a single parent, and partly because he doesn’t want to create tension in their relationship. But staying quiet doesn’t feel right either, especially when his professional space is being affected.
Writing to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous is asking a question many people would struggle with. Does he stay firmly in teacher mode and involve the school? Or does this situation call for him to step in more as a father figure, even if that means crossing some uncomfortable lines?
More than anything, he wants to know how to have this conversation with his partner in a way that protects both his authority at work and the relationship they’re trying to build.
“My girlfriend and I met during a parents’ meeting where I teach. At the time, her son was in a lower grade, but last year I started teaching him Business Studies, and I will be teaching him again this year. He is aware of the relationship between his mother and me.
“Last year, he made a point of being disruptive in my class. I didn’t report it or tell his mother because I treated it as normal misbehaviour, just another learner testing boundaries. However, since school reopened last week, the behaviour has escalated. He came to class without the proper school shoes, and when I addressed him as a teacher, he became openly defiant, arguing and refusing to follow instructions. I remained firm, but he continues to push boundaries, and l’m now concerned that this is undermining my authority in the classroom.
“I haven’t spoken to his mother yet because I don’t want her to feel like l’m criticising her as a single parent, or putting her in an uncomfortable position. At the same time, I worry that by staying silent, I’m allowing the situation to grow and potentially affect both my professional environment and our relationship.
“How do I manage this situation while honouring my role as a teacher and as her partner? Am I approaching it wrong for sticking to professional boundaries in the classroom? Or is this where I step in as a father figure? (My girlfriend was a side-chick to a married man, and her son is the product of that relationship. How do I communicate this to her in a way that protects both my authority at work and our relationship?”
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The post ‘I’m a teacher dating a parent, and her son is undermining me at school’ – The Blind Spot appeared first on KAYA 959.
