NO mother wants to hear her child say they have suicidal thoughts.
So it broke Sarah McCalden’s heart when her 14-year-old son Finn confessed he’d thought about taking his own life due to a common condition.
Finn, 14, confessed to his mum he had suicidal thoughts[/caption]
Finn was dianosed with eczema, a relentless and exhausting skin condition[/caption]
I hate seeing him suffer as he has, says heartbroken mum Sarah McCalden[/caption]
Being incessantly and severely itchy is horrible, and I’ve wished I didn’t exist because of it, adds Finn[/caption]
While Finn, from Newcastle, doesn’t have a diagnosed mental health condition, he does have a relentless and exhausting skin condition – eczema.
“I’ve had suicidal thoughts because of the pain eczema puts me through,” the teen tells Sun Health.
“Being incessantly and severely itchy is horrible, and I’ve wished I didn’t exist because of it.”
Finn’s mum, Sarah, 46, says: “He’s been such an angry child and has said on several occasions that he wanted to die, which is impossibly difficult to hear as a parent.”
Those troubling thoughts are all too common among those with the constant itch of eczema, new statistics show.
More than 13 per cent of sufferers reported suicidal ideation compared to eight per cent of those without eczema, according to a survey of 30,000 people in 27 countries, conducted by La Roche-Posay Laboratoire Dermatologique and a team of international dermatologists.
Those under 30, like Finn, are at greater risk.
“It doesn’t surprise me there’s a connection between suicide and eczema because being itchy and not feeling up to doing anything every day is totally draining,” says Finn.
“It can get in the way of everything – showering, having a bath, going to the toilet, moving my legs. When I have eczema on my hands, they always hurt.
“It’s stopped me from doing lots of stuff because it hurts so much. It’s horrible.”
Eczema describes skin that is itchy, dry and red.
When patients scratch the skin, it breaks, weeps and bleeds. It may scab over, or with persistent scratching, continue to worsen and even get infected.
Breaking the cycle is difficult, as sufferers describe the itch as bone-deep and the relief of scratching, heavenly – but short-lived.
Delphine Kerob, a consultant dermatologist from Vichy Laboratories, Paris, one of the lead researchers of the study, says the impact of eczema is “more than skin deep” – but it’s still not being taken seriously by doctors.
‘Risk is real’
“SUICIDAL thoughts represent a serious and frequent concern that is often overlooked by healthcare professionals,” she says.
It’s no surprise to Dr Thuva Amuthan, though, who says large studies show people with eczema are more likely to report depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts than those without the agonising condition.
“The risk is real,” Dr Thuva, founder of Dr Derme Skin Clinics, tells Sun Health.
It doesn’t surprise me there’s a connection between suicide and eczema because being itchy and not feeling up to doing anything every day is totally draining
Finn
“I see this most when flares are frequent, sleep is poor, and people feel judged or embarrassed in public or at work. I’ve looked after teens and young adults who’ve told me the constant itch and sleep loss made them feel hopeless and suicidal.
“When that happens, I treat the skin aggressively to calm the disease quickly, and refer for mental-health support – both need attention.
“Eczema doesn’t just live on the skin — it gets into every corner of daily life.”
The teen has been on an immunosuppressant drug called methotrexate for 18 months, reserved for the most serious of cases[/caption]
Signs your child has suicidal thoughts and 9 next steps
No one wants to imagine their child would tell them they have suicidal thoughts.
If a child does, it may not always be as obvious as them saying it,
Director of Childline, Shaun Friel, highlights seven signs that could suggest a young person might be feeling suicidal.
He says they might:
- Stop wanting to see their friends or do things they normally like doing
- Talk about feeling down, low or depressed
- Start doing dangerous things like taking drugs or drinking alcohol
- Give away things they own
- Stop looking after themselves – for example they might not wash as often or care about their appearance like they used to
- Mention that they’re planning to take their own life
- Say things like ‘It’ll be over soon’, ‘I’d be better off dead, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’ or ‘no one will miss me’
YoundMinds says if a child tells you they have suicidal thoughts, you should:
- Take their feelings seriously. They may have taken a big risk in telling you. It’s important to give enough space for talking about it together and making them feel heard.
- Let them know you’re glad they’ve told you. This will help to reassure them if they’re worried about how you might react or what you might be thinking.
- Keep your voice and body language calm… Try not to respond with panic. This could stop your child or young person from being honest with you.
- Don’t try to fix their feelings straightaway. Focus on giving them support.
- Empathise with how they are feeling.
- Explore what’s making them feel this way. Do they know what has brought them to a place where things feel so bad?
- Get a sense of what their thoughts are like. If there is any sense they are planning suicide, ou should get urgent professional help as soon as possible.
- Reassure them that you can get through this together. Tell them that you love them and they’re not alone.
- Get professional advice about what to do next, even if you do not think your child has a plan to attempt suicide, because they may still be at risk.
PAPYRUS supports parents and carers who are worried that their child or young person is having suicidal thoughts. You can have a look at their conversation starters, and their tips for parents and carers.
Eczema typically starts in childhood, affecting one in five kids in the UK, but can occur at any age, with one in ten adults suffering.
There is no cure, but there may be long periods where it goes away before an outbreak flares again.
Sometimes a cause can be identified, like a change in weather, pollen or a food allergy, but more often than not, it’s impossible to identify vague triggers.
Sarah, a financial wellbeing specialist, says: “Finn was born with eczema and he suffered with it for years. Finn being itchy all the time is really difficult to watch. I hate seeing him suffer as he has.”
The 14-year-old’s eczema cleared up for some time as a child but returned in November 2020.
His mum, Sarah, says: “It’s stopped him going out and being able to enjoy things because his skin was so sore.
“It progressively got worse to the point where he was covered in it.
“We were living in Croydon then, and we moved to Newcastle in May 2022, and it got so much worse.
“We also know that eczema, asthma and allergies are all closely linked — and Finn has all three.”
GPs can diagnose eczema by looking at it, and should give patients advice on managing their condition with moisturisers, emollients and for moderate to severe cases, topical steroid creams.
These treatments, as well as phototherapy which uses UV light, in 2023, didn’t work for Finn.
What is eczema?
Eczema is a condition that causes the skin to become itchy, red, dry and cracked.
Atopic eczema (the most common form of the condition) is more common in children, often developing before their first birthday.
However, it may also develop for the first time in adults.
It’s usually a long-term condition, although it can improve significantly, or even clear completely, in some children as they get older.
The exact cause of eczema is not known.
Symptoms:
Some people only have small patches of dry skin, but others may experience widespread red, inflamed skin all over the body.
It can affect any part of the body but it most often affects the hands, insides of the elbows, backs of the knees and the face and scalp in children.
There are many different treatments to help control eczema, including:
- self-care techniques, such as reducing scratching and avoiding triggers (babies and small children may need to wear mittens to avoid scratching)
- moisturising on a daily basis
- topical corticosteroids to reduce swelling, redness and itching during flare-ups
Now, he’s been on an immunosuppressant drug called methotrexate for 18 months, usually reserved for the most serious of cases.
Eczema is sometimes thought of as an autoimmune condition, where the immune system goes into overdrive in response to allergens that creep through the weak skin, causing worsening itching and swelling.
Sarah says: “It’s the best treatment he has received in terms of reducing the symptoms, and Finn’s mental health has improved significantly.
“But it’s not a cure and for me, methotrexate, which is a chemotherapy drug, is not something I want Finn to be on for years.
“Right now, it’s working, but I can’t help wondering what the long-term effects of staying on such a strong drug are.”
The risks of methotrexate, a chemotherapy drug, include lung problems, such as shortness of breath, hair-thinning, reduced folic acid and increased infections, because the body is immuno-compromised.
“When his dose has been increased, he’s felt nauseous for a few days afterwards,” says Sarah.
No matter how long it stays under control, it can always come back and that’s difficult to deal with
Finn
“I know it can affect the liver and lungs, which is why he goes to the hospital every three months for check-ups and blood work.
“It leaves him more open to infection and even increases the risk of things like lymphoma and skin cancer.”
Studies have shown an increased risk of developing lymphoma and skin cancer on methotrexate, but it’s not conclusive.
“More than anything, I’d love for him to have some relief without having to rely on medication like this,” says Sarah.
Despite the relief methotrexate has provided Finn, he’s already dreading future flare-ups.
“No matter how long it stays under control, it can always come back and that’s difficult to deal with,” he says.
Mum Sarah says Finn’s mental health has improved since going on the drug but wishes he could find relief without having to rely on medication[/caption]
‘Never give up’
“I’ve had periods in the last few years where I was angry because I didn’t like myself because of the way I looked.
“I was fat because of all the steroids I was putting over my body. It affected my sleep because I was always itchy and scratching.
“I hardly slept through the night and was always tired. The worst experience was always the hot, sunny days in the summer, sweating a lot and my skin being super itchy.”
Sarah adds: “He has scarring and when the eczema is more visible he’s said he felt he looked really ugly.”
Dr Thuva urges patients with eczema, or their parents, to ask for a dermatology referral if their GP’s approach has not worked.
“If control isn’t good enough, ask your GP about a referral.
“If you have eczema and your mood is slipping, especially with poor sleep, constant itch or worries about your skin, that’s a red flag to seek help.
“Treating the skin often lifts the mind, and treating the mind helps the skin. You need support for both. GPs can link people to talking therapies, itch management, and crisis support where needed.
“Many hospitals now run psychodermatology clinics that treat skin and mental health together.”
Controlling eczema is something that requires constant attention – even when there is no active rash.
If you have eczema and your mood is slipping, especially with poor sleep, constant itch or worries about your skin, that’s a red flag to seek help
Dr Thuva
“Rapid itch control and sleep hygiene are key,” says Dr Thuva.
“That means thick emollients several times a day, short courses of steroid creams for flares, and targeted non-steroidal creams for sensitive sites.”
Finn says: “My eczema is under control at the moment, but for anyone dealing with flare-ups or episodes where it’s bad and it’s affecting their mental health, I’d say stick with your creams and moisturisers.
“Never give up – even though it’s so awful – because it can get better.
“And if anyone reading this knows someone with eczema, understand how they are feeling and be kind.”
- IF YOU, OR A LOVED ONE ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, CALL THE SAMARITANS ON 116 123.
Never give up – even though it’s so awful – because it can get better, says Finn[/caption]
Products that help eczema
Jae Rance, creator of ScratchSleeves and author of The Calm Skin Guide, shares her top products to help eczema.
For eczema around the mouth: Try an SLS free toothpaste like Oranurse.
Prevent itching at night: Covering your child’s hands at night may help. ScratchSleeves have built-in mitts to cover the hands. Socks are an immediate solution when you have nothing to hand, but are easier to rip off.
For cleaning skin: Using plain water and a microfibre wash mitt can do wonders for keeping your baby clean. You can also use your regular emollient for washing.
To remove potential laundy detergent triggers: Contrary to popular belief, biological detergents are not a common trigger for eczema. Instead it’s the optical brighteners and fragrances that typically cause the problem. Fragrance free versions of eco brands like Ecover Zero are a good option.
To help itch relief: Some eczema creams like E45 Itch Relief include anti-itch ingredients which act as a local anaesthetic. These creams can usually only be used twice a day but can be really useful when the itch is really annoying, especially at bedtime. Oatmeal has anti-itch properties. Aveeno is the best known oatmeal based brand, AproDerm also has a good range.
Boost the skin barrier: Ceramides can help to re-establish the balance of fats necessary for the skin barrier to function effectively. One ceramide-containing cream is looking particularly hopeful – EpiCeram, which is prescription only. CeraVe Moisturising Cream for dry and very dry skin, which also contains ceramides, available over the counter.
