Nothing is as chaotic as the final week before Christmas with last minute gift-buying, parents trying to cram in visits to see every single person in the family and catching up on all the sleep deadline season made us miss. However, as Christmas is a time for giving, it’s about time our colleges deserve a small extra gift as a token of our gratitude.
From Welcome Week to graduation, the colleges have helped make university extra special. It’s about time Santa pays them a visit!
This Christmas list (for which I am definitely getting put on Santa’s naughty list after writing this article), roasts your colleges with a gift perfect for each one, a little something extra to make 2026 an even better year for them.
Bowland College – a zimmer frame
Starting off strong with one of the founding colleges, it’s fair to say Bowland might be feeling its old age.
2026 marks Bowland’s 62nd birthday so thankfully they are located very close to Alexander Square because getting any further would be a bit of a stretch.
A zimmer frame is the best gift to help Bowland’s achy joints move around campus.
Cartmel College – walking boots
Is this a bit cliche – absolutely. But (especially when going to a 9am) Cartmel feels miles away from the rest of the campus.
Some good quality walking boots would help navigate this trek, reducing the damage of those long walks.
County College – drinking games
It’s no argument that County needs to make its mind up on where it belongs. The townhouses scream wannabe Grizedale yet it still has the traditional student accommodation. If it wants a reputation for being the party college, perhaps a couple of drinking games would really get the party going in the new year.
Furness College – a megaphone
Fun fact, when writing this article I initially forgot to include Furness and this seems to be a shared feeling amongst Lancaster students. How many people actually know where Furness is?
To make their mark, a megaphone should help a lot. Furness are about to be loud and proud, just please don’t use it to sing ‘Angels’ in the middle of the night, we beg you.
Flyde College – some basic sporting equipment
Flyde College has a reputation for being the ‘sporty’ college, but, let’s be honest, this is only because their bar is a sports bar.
To earn this title, some training over Christmas could help with this stereotype, cue the Rocky montage.
Graduate College – a pension calculator
Whilst the College isn’t as ancient as Bowland, it’s where all the old students go (no offense Postgraduates). A pension calculator can help get things organised for retirement, which is only a few years away.
Grizedale College – cleaning supplies
They have the party reputation, but I am horrified at what a morning after might look like. Some cleaning supplies will help Grizedale quite nicely. They can still have their crazy, wacky parties but at least it won’t be too messy before the next one.
Lonsdale College – a self-confidence book
Is 2026 the year Lonsdale comes out of Cartmel’s shadow? With only two colleges on south west campus, it is inevitable that Lonsdale and Cartmel will be compared together. A self-confidence book will help Lonsdale own the things that make them stand out.
Pendle College – a traitors cloak
Now I’m not saying Pendle gives off cult vibes but with their logo being a witch, it’s not too hard to imagine some satanic activity occurring in the middle of the night in the Harpley Lounge. Also, with the new year off starting with a new season of The Traitors, the famous cloak would be a great fit for Pendle.
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Featured images before edits via the colleges’ Instagram accounts.
