We’re only a couple of days away from Christmas – which, of course, means it won’t be long until we’re shivering in the Misfits queue and clambering out of bed for those brutal January 9ams.
But first: Christmassss! And because nobody needs another pointless stocking filler, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of gifts Cardiff students actually want for Christmas this year.
1. YOLO queue skip
If Misfits can implement it, why can’t the SU?
No one enjoys getting to the SU for 7 pm and being practically sober by the time you make it to YOLO. Not to mention, you’ve got another 8 hours until Angels.
New Year’s resolution – we all go to YOLO a little later?
2. A space in the ASSL
November is the true October canon event for students.
A spot in the ASSL? No go, except on a Thursday morning – ghost town.
Everyone knows the downstairs booths are the best for essay-writing all-nighter lock-ins – if you can manage to get one!
3. No 9 AM Thursday lectures
Attendance and concentration levels are at an all-time low. Wednesday’s VK selection is still very much sitting in your stomach. It’s either North-Pole-level freezing, or absolutely scorching. Literally in hell. You can’t win.
As a suggestion, why not get rid of 9AMs altogether?
4. Cathays Lidl queue skip
Particularly with the carnage that a Friday at 4 PM brings.
The pandemonium reminds me of the pandemic, but instead of toilet roll being the most urgent thing on the shelves, it’s stone-baked pizza and packs of Stella.
5. Sunny weather
Dear May, we cannot wait to see you again.
Sunbathing in Bute Park, sacking off Friday lectures, Woodville pub garden. I’m on the edge of my seat just writing about it.
6. A cheatless Taf Quiz
Taf Quiz, I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
Nothing worse than spending your last fiver on a wholesome pub quiz with your flatmates, only to get tragically beaten by the ‘Medieval History W*nkers’ at Table 5.
But I suppose cheating on quizzes is inevitable with students?
Half price on selected drinks after 11 pm does soften the blow a little bit.
7. Rat poison
Goes without saying.
8. A rubbish-less Cathays
Personally, I’d love to walk down Cathays Terrace without stepping on a raw chicken packet, mouldy bread, or a week-old half-eaten kebab. Is that a lot to ask?
Apparently, no one’s parents teach them how to properly take out the bins anymore.
9. Polite bouncers
Live Lounge bouncers, you have some New Year’s reflecting to do.
10. Real Jäger
Anyone caught onto the fact that Jägerbombs are not real Jäger? Protect your bank and integrity by purchasing a mixed drink.
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