Many of us are familiar with that last minute message arriving on your phone: “Just to let you know, we’re visiting this weekend- love Mum and Dad.” Whether you receive this message Friday evening or Monday morning, you begin to spiral under the weight of expectation. Having made the journey, the idea of cosying up for a catch-up amongst abandoned dishes and piles of laundry in your mouldy student flat doesn’t seem terribly appealing. It is vital that you formulate a plan to impress them and assert your being a seasoned Bristolian. Just make sure not to slip up and refer to Bristol as home.
Part one: Where to eat
This being the most essential category, if you’re lucky enough that this expense can be covered by your very generous parents. Think of it as a last supper with ‘last’ referencing your encounters with a vegetable, or even dessert. Pizzarova is a staple. You may have to endure grimaces at the ‘rustic’ setting and multiple enquiries about where the knife and fork is? However, you are sure to depart with widespread resolve to visit again.
For an even more authentic student experience, you may choose to introduce your parents to the delicacy that is the meal deal. Likely the most nutritionally balanced thing you will consume all term.
Magari is a great option for good food, at a reasonable price. Not forgetting the Bristol twist of being located in a shipping container. Simulate a claustrophobes’ nightmare whilst eating great pasta and enjoying harbourside views. Do not mention this as a date location with the third year that broke your heart, this may make the experience quite uncomfortable.
Part two: Activities
A good tour of Bristol should be fun as well as culturally immersive, and most vitally a leg workout to rival any Pilates class. If your parents happen to enjoy extreme sports, consider a stroll up Park Street. However, you may not have a chance to appreciate the shops and cafes on the way as you gasp for what might just be your final breath. First to the top earns bragging rights.
For the best views, consider attempting the perilous ascent of Cabot Tower. After battling rapid onset vertigo, appreciate the expansive views of the city you are proud to call home. If you are feeling ambitious, you could expose your parents to your poor geographical knowledge by failing to locate the same places you frequent on a daily basis.
Can you even call yourself a Bristol student if you don’t pop into every charity shop you pass, convinced that this is the day you emerge with a gem at a bargain price? Parents, I’m sure, would love to join this excursion. Whilst you scurry between shops with the one you evidently inherited your stylistic flair from, watch as the other unenthusiastically taps their foot at the entrance with a sigh. Even better if this bonding experience ends with a triumphant emergence holding a top you are fairly sure cost less money when it was bought new.
End the tour at the iconic Bristol landmark that is the Suspension Bridge. Make sure to namedrop Brunel, it is essential that your parents realise that you are, in fact, a serious intellectual. You could even enjoy the views with a pint at the White Lion.
But don’t forget! Before they make their departure home, abandoning you to life as an independent adult, make the most of the car and sneak in a cheeky trip to the supermarket. At this stage you have caused enough financial damage for them to bid you a (loving) farewell and until next time.
