It’s that time of the year again, Spotify Wrapped is here and ready to publicly shame our listening throughout 2025 and the Spotify warriors are already gearing up their perfectly arranged Instagram story to brag about their over 100,000 minutes spent listening.
But what if it was set in King’s I hear you say. Well, look no further as here’s a deeply relatable and satirical rundown of your year as a KCL student.
Your year in review:
Hours spent trying to find a seat in the Maughan: Five, some things never change.
Minutes spent queuing at Strand Greggs: 20, you could have walked across Waterloo Bridge twice.
Times you complained about Waterloo Bridge: Everyday, you should have just taken the bus
Money spent in the club: Let’s not even go there…
Money spent in The Vault: Over £100, hold tight for your January student loan.
Times you saw Lenny the cat: Zero. He clearly has favourites and it’s (sadly) not you.
Top mentions of the year:
Favourite study spot: Anywhere but the Maughan Library.
Library checkouts: Zero. You don’t even know how to use a printer at university, but had some unbelievable faith in Keats.
Sports nights attended: All of them, if only your lecture attendance was the same.
Academic stats:
The amount of times you said it’s time to lock in, but never did: All the time, New Year’s resolutions are coming up so it’s time to get brainstorming.
Seminars participated in: Three and one of them you spent nodding along to somebody else’s point.
9 am’s attended: Two. And they were all during the first week of the semester. You promised that you’d catch up on lecture capture but you didn’t.
Tears cried over your 3000 word essay: 568ml. That’s enough to fill a pint glass.
Your top genres:
Regret: Choosing your degree. That gap year you didn’t take is looking more appealing than ever.
Faith: That you have enough time to do your readings. Spoiler: You don’t.
Denial: Telling yourself that submitting your essay at 2 am is actually giving back to the academic community
Panic: When someone asks about your plans after graduating
Shock: When you see that £12.80 TFL charge pop up at 1 am. It’s fine, you’re ok, just convince yourself that using Apple Pay isn’t real.
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