AS optician, Jim Dougherty, finished fitting his patient with their new reading glasses, he sent them on their way to the reception.
‘Thanks, Jim,’ Sarah Dougherty, then aged 24, smiled from her desk a few feet away.
The happy couple on their wedding day[/caption]
Love sparked for Sarah and Jim when they met at the opticians[/caption]
Afterwards, Jim, a grandfather then aged 60 who’d been at the practice for 30 years, had a natter with his young colleague.
Little did they know they were about to embark on a secret workplace relationship despite their 36-year age gap and battle every obstacle possible to stay together.
It was 2013, and Sarah had just landed her first job after university at an eye practice in Upstate New York where she went on to fall in love with the optician.
The pair had a secret year-long engagement, afraid of their colleagues, friends and family’s reactions.
They eventually came clean and after overcoming many obstacles, they’re still going strong 11 years later, claiming they’re happier than ever.
Age is just a number
Sarah says: “Jim’s a wonderful husband and after so many years, the secret’s out. He really is the love of my life. I hope our story shows age is truly just a number. If it feels right in your heart and your soul, and everything’s above board and consensual, just live your life.”
Back in 2013, Sarah was 24 when she started as an entry-level admin assistant at an opticians. She was fresh out of university from the year before and living with her parents.
Sarah says: “I was getting my feet wet in the working world. Jim was a father-of-two, whose children were a similar age to me. His kids would sometimes come in to get eye-checks. I’d briefly met his ex-wife, who he’d divorced a decade before, who came in for her glasses once.
“Jim was also a grandfather. He was lovely.
“Most days, he’d have a gossip with me between seeing patients. All my colleagues looked up to him.
“At the time, I had a boyfriend, a year younger than me. But after six months, we broke up.
“He was immature, and we wanted different things in life.” Sarah, then 24, and Jim, then 60, built a friendship at work. Despite their large age difference, they could speak for hours.
Sarah says: “Weirdly, I felt like I’d known Jim a lifetime. At work, I’d watch him smile at me, or walk past and I’d feel butterflies. We began grabbing a bite to eat after work. I realised I fancied him.
An old soul…
“It took me by surprise. I’d never imagined pursuing an older man. But I was an old soul. I hated guys my age. Men in their 20s were a hot mess.
“Whereas Jim had built this amazing career. No drama or game-playing.”
One night, as they walked back to their cars after a post-work dinner, Jim kissed Sarah. Later that month, Sarah realised she was comfortable with the age gap, and went for it.
Sarah says: “My parents at home, who were similar ages to Jim, were suspicious.
“Dad was mad, and told me I’d waste my years. I began lying to my parents. I’d come back from Jim’s and tell my parents I’d been with a female colleague. Jim and I became a couple but remembering my parent’s initial reaction, I dreaded telling them. Instead, we agreed to keep us a secret.
Dad was mad, and told me I’d waste my years. I began lying to my parents.
Sarah Dougherty
“There was no point in upsetting people when I didn’t know where things would go.
“At work Jim and I knew it was a conflict of interest. We didn’t want him to lose his credibility or his job. Not wanting to raise suspicions, we kept things professional.”
After work shifts, Sarah and Jim would wait for staff to leave before going back to Jim’s house together. Over three years later, in September 2016, Sarah left the company, and relocated across the country to Richmond for better job opportunities. She worried it’d end her relationship with Jim but to her surprise, he began driving the 9-hour distance to visit her every fortnight.
A secret proposal
Sarah says: “It was then when I saw a future together. Once I’d quit my job, Jim let the cat out of the bag, and told work about us. They were all stunned.
“But a few people had admitted they’d suspected us. The next year, Jim proposed and it was the best moment of my life. We didn’t care about our age gap. We knew we’d found the one. Not long after the engagement, Jim left the practice and relocated to be with me. His colleagues were more shocked he’d left than the news about us.”
But Sarah still hadn’t told her family or friends, keeping Jim and their engagement a secret.
Friends worried she’d be left a widow
Sarah says: “My best friend, also my age, was the only one I told. She asked me what my life would look like and worried I’d be left all alone. That I didn’t have much time left with Jim. I was really hurt. She even wrote me a note, detailing her concerns again.
“Having her not support me was horrible and deeply upsetting. We became very distant.”
Remembering her father’s early warnings, Sarah didn’t post her engagement news online nor have a party to celebrate. Whenever her family tried to visit, she’d make up excuses.
Jim, looking cool, in his early 20s[/caption]
Seventy-year-old Jim now[/caption]
Sarah says: “When they did visit, I’d hide Jim’s stuff and get him to leave for the day. I was living a double-life. I stressed they’d fly off the handle and disown me.
“Whilst also not really speaking to my best friend. It was tough. I hated lying and the secret was becoming too much.”
In 2018, after a year-long engagement, Sarah visited her parents alone and came clean.
She says: “They were shell-shocked. Mum was five years younger than Jim and Dad was the same age as him, they found it weird. They mirrored all the same concerns my best friend had, about me having children and me being widowed one day.
They [my parents] saw how Jim treated me, how well we were doing and they really loved him. Especially Dad. They became friends and Dad would come over to hang out.
Sarah Dougherty
“But five months later, they visited me and Jim. They saw how Jim treated me, how well we were doing and they really loved him. Especially Dad. They became friends and Dad would come over to hang out. My best friend also eventually came around too and saw how happy Jim made me. Things all finally fell into place.
“Jim bit the bullet too and arranged dinner with his kids, and grandkids, at an Italian restaurant. Aged 39 and 37, his kids were similar ages to me. Thankfully they didn’t recognise me from working on the reception.
“At first it was a little awkward. I knew they found my age weird. But it shortly became very relaxed and cordial. Not only that, but they thrilled their dad had moved away. The grandkids loved meeting me.”
Jim and I are soulmates. The only difference between us is his energy levels.
Sarah Dougherty
Over the years, Jim and Sarah grew stronger and happier.
He worked as an optician at a veteran’s hospital. Whilst Sarah began a new successful career as a senior account manager in medical malpractice.
Sarah says: “Jim and I are soulmates. The only difference between us is his energy levels. He needed more time to re-charge than I did.
“When we go shopping, shop-keepers would often tell me and my father to have a nice day.
Mistaken for her… dad!
“I’d tug Jim, and say ‘Dad, come on!’ as a joke. Always laughing it off, we never let it upset us. If anything, it made Jim feel good about himself. That he was with such a beautiful woman, and had found a great catch that had given him confidence.”
In August 2021, Sarah and Jim finally married five years after getting engaged in a quaint back-garden wedding.
Sarah says: “Marrying the love of my life, it was the best day. My best friend was even my maid of honour, signifying her acceptance and support of us. Now, Jim’s 70 and I’m 34. His children and I have now gotten closer. And Jim’s a grandfather of five.
“We haven’t decided to have kids yet, as we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.
“I know I’d end up a single mother at some point. But Jim and I try not to dwell on the future. We’re happy and that’s all that matters.”
Sarah and Jim now – happy… and they haven’t ruled out a little one[/caption]
The lovers on their wedding day[/caption]
