HAVING worked in social media for several years now, I’m used to the “joy” of receiving other people’s opinions and certainly since my lads’ mag days, I’ve grown accustomed to creepy comments from lechy men.
However, there’s a particularly dark, vicious strain of internet trolling which is way more disturbing than anything Steve from Stoke or Craig from Carlisle could string together.
And here’s the thing, the vast majority of these savage takes are from women.
It’s the mum police on steroids – never short of a nasty barb or judgemental jibe and I find these girl-on-girl attacks really sad.
We’ve all seen it in action over the last few weeks with poor old Molly-Mae Hague who can’t seem to win at the moment, no matter what she does.
She was berated online – mostly by women – for apparently not being firm enough with her two-year-old daughter Bambi over biting at nursery, a phase, by the way, which a lot of kids go through.
“Molly’s failing terribly,” wrote one pearl-clutcher.
“Why does she wanna keep biting people?” tutted another. “I’ve got two young kids who wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Too soft… especially as it KEEPS happening,” blasted a third.
Just a few days later, the perfect parents were back again, this time over Molly-Mae’s portion sizes as she served Bambi’s breakfast of Weetabix mixed with chia and flax seeds.
“Poor kid is going to get crippling stomach cramps,” wrote someone who I’m pretty certain wasn’t a qualified healthcare professional.
“She’s actually quite clueless, Molly.”
These aren’t gentle, well-meaning comments from people offering friendly advice out of the goodness of their hearts. This is bullying, plain and simple.
And it’s the most cowardly form because there’s no way these keyboard warriors would say any of this to Molly-Mae’s face.
I get this sort of stuff all the time. Of the many things I do that make me a “terrible mother”, it’s my lingerie modelling and low-cut dresses which trigger them the most.
Almost all of the backlash comes from women, questioning my abilities as a mum purely because I don’t wear baggy polo necks and ankle-length skirts.
“How can you dress like that when you’re a MOTHER?” they cry whenever I post anything showing a bit of flesh.
Molly-Mae is being bullied by online trolls, says Helen, for how she parents her daughter Bambi[/caption]
Well, Sandra, it’s because it makes me feel empowered, I like to feel sexy and I enjoy feeling good about myself.
And if I want to, I’ll continue posting these pictures when I’m in my 40s, 50s and even my 60s because I don’t think there’s an age limit on being sexy.
Let’s face it, how did we become mums in the first place? We’ve all had sex!
The night before my birthday this year, I posted what I thought was a lovely make-up video only to be bombarded with comments and messages about my cleavage.
NO AGE LIMIT ON SEXY
According to the wise women of Instagram, I looked “slutty”, “tacky” and it proved I had “no class”.
“I feel sorry for her kids,” said one.
“What kind of message is this sending to her daughters?”
How I dress does not make me a bad mum. What definitely is being a bad mum is going on the internet, trolling other women and setting a terrible example to your children.
I want my daughters Matilda, 10, and Delilah, seven, to grow up with body confidence and kindness.
Helen Flanagan’s TV career
January 2000 – Coronation Street
Helen first appeared as Rosie Webster in the ITV soap 25 years ago, aged nine.
February 2012 – left Coronation Street
After 12 years, Helen left to pursue other interests.
November 2012 – ITV’s I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!
Helen was one of the most talked-about contestants for her reactions during the Bushtucker trials. She finished in 7th place.
August 2014 – Holby City
Helen switched to the BBC hospital programme and played nurse Kirsty Brompton.
February 2017 – returned to Coronation Street
Five years later, she reprised her role as Rosie in Weatherfield.
June 2018 – left Coronation Street
Helen went on maternity leave, but due to family priorities and childcare logistics, she didn’t return.
April 2023 – I’m a Celebrity…South Africa
She took part in the All Stars series and placed joint 7th.
August 2024 – Celebs Go Dating
Helen took part in the 13th series of the hit Channel 4 reality show but was already in a relationship with former footballer Robbie Talbot.
I don’t want them to grow up being horrible and bitchy to women.
The trolls can’t stand it if I ever have time to myself.
Earlier this year I went to Ibiza for a weekend with some friends and got trolled to death because how dare I have a holiday!
“Oh, here she goes, dumping her kids again!” blasted one.
“Everybody hates her. Even her children hate her.”
I live and breathe my children and I have them 95% of the time.
WOMEN CAN’T WIN
Their dad – my ex, footballer Scott Sinclair – lives 200 miles away so the bulk of the care is on me.
I do all the school runs, the ferrying to and from clubs, the breakfasts, dinners, baths and bedtimes and I have to fit my work around those responsibilities.
Heaven forbid that as a busy working mum, I should have the audacity to take a couple of days to myself.
Women can’t win. Whether we give our kids dummies, whether we breast or bottlefeed, whether we’ve gained too much weight during pregnancy or lost it too quickly afterwards, whether we choose to be a working or stay-at-home mum – whatever it is, we’re wrong.
It’s hard enough being female in a world which is set up for men and so the fact that most of these online onslaughts are coming from women is both heartbreaking and infuriating.
We should be on the same side, not tearing each other down. We need to lift each other up and be supportive of one another because god knows the men aren’t going to do that for us.
I’m sure a lot of it stems from jealousy. Molly-Mae is a beautiful, young, successful woman with what appears to be a lovely life and there are certain people out there who can’t bear to see that.
Part of me understands it. So much of what we’re served up on social media shows perfect, glossy lives which simply don’t reflect the reality for most people.
SHAMING SANCTIMUMMIES
Those yummy mummy accounts where everything is flawless don’t do me any favours mentally – not because I’m jealous, but because, to be honest, I see happy families and wish I could have given my
children the same.
However, I’d never in a million years post a vicious comment in response. Instead, I scroll past or quietly mute those accounts.
Because I’ve been in the public eye for so long – I started on Coronation Street when I was nine – a lot of the trolling is water off a duck’s back now.
I can make light of it which, for me, is the best way of dealing with it.
I refuse to let the Sanctimummies shame me or dictate what I post just because they shout the loudest.
Having said all this, the sisterhood is by no means dead.
Just recently I posted a reel about the challenges of getting my youngest, four-year-old Charlie, to bed at night.
I have ADHD and I’m pretty sure he does too which can make life
tough at times.
Although there were plenty of comments labelling him a “naughty little boy” and lecturing me to be stricter with him, I had so many more showing solidarity, thanking me for posting relatable content and telling me I was doing a good job.
All those gorgeous comments came from women – so, for every woman intent on spewing hatred, there are countless more posting positive support.
We outnumber them. They might try and clog up the internet with their mean girl energy, but they won’t win.
The Corrie star says the sisterhood isn’t dead and she gets loads of supportive comments from female fans[/caption]
