You would think as a city home to over 55,000 students, Edinburgh must be jampacked with different personalities. While mostly true (see the Royal Mile during the Fringe), the same stock characters still crop up wherever you go.
You might be tempted to call them NPCs, but they’re far more important than that. When the chaos of uni has you feeling lost, just look around for one of these familiar faces to bring you back down to earth . These are the types of people you’re bound to meet at uni in Edinburgh.
Ex Pollock girly adjusting to home cooking
Giving Gordon Ramsay a run for his money
Take a stroll through Marchmont to witness this car crash, I dare you. Who knew it was possible to actually miss the JMCC? Armed with only penne pasta, pesto and parmesan cheese, watch as these soldiers attempt to conquer the hob of their 2nd year flat, and fail dramatically.
Graduate 29 year old still at the club
Look, there’s nothing wrong with clubbing and there’s nothing wrong with being 29. But with the big 30 approaching, I should not be seeing you in Subway multiple times a week. Not that I’m judging or anything, it’s fine to mourn your university days. Once your UNiDAYS has expired, though, maybe consider mourning from the privacy of your own home.
Frugal fourth year
Ignore the oddly suspicious colour of the matcha
There is no denying that Edinburgh is expensive. Four years of living here must have exposed the biggest financial drains. Fettle sandwiches, I’m looking at you. Whether it’s a Why Not fob or £2 off drinks at Black Sheep on Mondays, there’s not a discount these seasoned Edinburgh students don’t know about.
King’s Campus club warrior with labs at 9 am
Never underestimate the power of an engineering student with a high alcohol tolerance. It could be 2:59 am on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, and there will still be a few of these legends hanging on by a thread, albeit sleep deprived. Hangxiety fears them.
Napier clubber checking the night bus timetable
Not a sight you want to see
The next time you’re on a night out and it hits 2 am, have a look around for anyone squinting down at their phone. Chances are, you’ll find a Napier student calculating the last possible minute they can leave the club and still catch the night bus home. This is a dangerous game. It can be a blessing living near the Napier campus during the day, but once you’ve missed the last N35 and you’re stranded on Princes Street, things don’t look so good.
Tutorial ghost
Gone but not forgotten. Everyone has witnessed the phantom who attended a tutorial in week one and never again. There was no warning either – they might have even said: “See you next week.” They might make a surprise return just after midterms or, even more awkward, bump into you at the club.
Tab journalist holding a big blue mic
Guilty as charged. I know you’ve seen at least one of us lurking around George Square, armed with a camera, a mic and a whole list of intrusive questions. Some might see us as pests, but I prefer to think of us as flies on the wall, with a purpose.
